ugh

it is so hard to silence that voice in your head:

you are eating a sandwich? how many calories is that? do you want to be fat again?

no, stop. i need this food to live. it's not normal to never eat. this is what people are supposed to do.

i still look down at myself and think "wow looking a little fat today" :T it's so discouraging, but i hope to get some real help when i go to the dr wed. for my digestive system and for my well being as a person. someone who wants to help other people needs to have help themselves fighting off the negative self talk.