getting sidetracked
thinking that i was unlovable, overeating, didn't care about myself, my body, nothing. i was damaged and useless. i wanted to hurt and to be hurt. it was the only validation i knew.
to slipping into anorexia nervosa. to becoming real. a real person.
i am a real human being now and i want to teach others to be real people too. i want to help other young women understand what it took me years to realize. that is what i want to do.
i feel a little sick right now-the anorexia has messed up my digestive system, and i have to go to the doctor for that sometime this week. but it is merely uncomfortable and i will go to class anyway. i'm going to make myself eat anyway. i am not afraid of food. yesterday i even ate cookies. it was a good feeling.
-Deidra
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